I Am Trayvon Martin….
Preface: I know these
words aren’t going to change the verdict, may not work to change the system,
and may not have any significant impact on anything. I just wanted to share my
viewpoints on a night such as tonight, July 13th, 2013…..when so
much just seems so wrong. And hopefully, this resonates with whoever reads this
and sparks the discussions that need to be had following an event such as this.
On the verdict of
“Not Guilty
Honestly, I am shocked and appalled
that George Zimmerman was found “Not Guilty” regarding the death of Trayvon
Martin. I understand that there may not have been enough evidence to prove
Zimmerman guilty of second degree murder, but for Zimmerman to get off “Not
Guilty,” with not even a count of manslaughter, well that is surprising and
saddens me to no end. I mean all we have to do is look at the facts…. 1)
Trayvon Martin was shot and killed. That is undeniable. 2) George Zimmerman
shot Trayvon Martin with his own gun and killed him. Now it varies from state
to state, but if I was to get a gun, and it accidentally goes off and I end up
shooting and killing someone, I could be found guilty of involuntary manslaughter
at the least; and that is if it is an accident… Now in Zimmerman’s case, this
was not an accident…he intended to shoot Trayvon Martin and his reasoning for
it was self-defense. Now I may be wrong here, but Trayvon Martin was a 17 year
old boy…George Zimmerman was a 28 year old man, 5 ft 7 in. tall, and 185 lbs.
Trayvon Martin in comparison was 5 ft 11 in, and 158 lbs. Yes Trayvon was
taller by four inches but he was lighter by almost 30 lbs and was still not
even old enough to be considered an adult. Are you telling me that a 17 year
old can beat a 28 year old man, who is significantly heavier than him, to the
point where a man feels endangered enough to shoot him with a firearm? There is
no mention of Martin being a boxer or skilled in any sort of martial art….I am
just failing to see how Zimmerman’s only option was to shoot Martin. Yes, it
was the heat of the moment and people don’t always think rationally during
altercations…but in my experience, “heat of the moment” doesn’t exonerate one
of their crimes and actions.
And
regarding the self-defense charge, in order for there to be a defender there
has to be an attacker. One can’t tell me that Trayvon Martin was the attacker
in this case. Let’s go through what Zimmerman said the night of the attack.
“We’ve had some break-ins in my neighborhood, and there’s a real suspicious guy…..”
“…These assholes, they always get away….” Already there are assumptions being
made, but more on that later. After the police dispatcher told Zimmerman to not
follow Martin, Zimmerman says “Okay.” And the rest is history…. Now Martin
didn’t have any weapons on him, he was just walking around in a neighborhood
late at night. Why did Zimmerman think he was suspicious? Because he fit the
profile, he was a young black man wearing a dark hoodie. Because really what
else makes Martin suspicious and how does Zimmerman come to that conclusion if
it’s not based on profiling? And Zimmerman’s
use of language, i.e. “assholes”, is really telling of his emotions towards
Martin that night before the altercation. And then there’s the part that Martin
starts running….Did Zimmerman ever stop to think that maybe the reason Martin
started running was because there was a suspicious car following him around.
According to testimony by Martin’s friend, Martin stated he was being followed
by a “creepy ass cracker.” Now Martin’s language is questionable as well, but
if someone was following me, I probably wouldn’t describe them in the nicest
tones as well. And then there is the fact that Zimmerman goes out of his car to
follow and pursue Martin on foot after the dispatcher tells him not to. So who
is the attacker in this scenario? The boy walking alone at night or the man who
feels obligated to pester and pursue a person who looks “suspicious.”
Now
there’s a lot to be said but at the end of the day this particular case affects
me dramatically because I could very well be Trayvon Martin. I could fit the
profile, I could have been harassed that night, and I could very easily have
the same fate as Trayvon Martin. I am an African American male. I’m 6 ft 1 in.
I’m 21 years old. I weigh 205 lbs. If I were to walk in a neighborhood at
night, with a hoodie and maybe even without a hoodie, I could be seen as a
suspicious person all because I “fit the profile.” Doesn’t matter that I
graduated from Washington University in St. Louis. Doesn’t matter that I am going
to be a medical student at Washington University School of Medicine next year. Doesn’t
matter that I go to church every Sunday, played football in high school and
college, done many community service projects…. Because despite of what I have
done, what I believe, what I learn…..a person seeing me for the first time may
assume I’m dangerous or suspicious because I happen to be at the wrong place at
the wrong time. People may profile me based on preconceived notions and schemas
of what they know of people that look like me. And even if these schemas are
wrong, they still happen and from this verdict, the message being sent is that
racial profiling is ok. Because if Zimmerman is ruled not guilty, then what
does that say of Trayvon Martin’s actions that night? If Zimmerman is not
guilty, then one could say that Trayvon Martin acted in such a way that night
that his death was permissible within the law. What is basically being said is
“It’s a tragedy that Trayvon Martin was shot that night, but it’s OK that he
did.” I, for one, do not agree with this statement in the least. Martin did not
initiate the altercation, Zimmerman did. And when Martin stands up for himself,
he gets shot and Zimmerman walks away not guilty.
There
are those who may say that Martin shouldn’t have been so aggressive towards
Zimmerman, but maybe he had no choice. I know for one, if I am walking at night
and someone I don’t know approaches me questioning my comings and goings, and
if this person has a condescending or aggressive tone, I’m not going to take
too kindly to that person. One because no one would and two because I can tell
this person has made a number of false assumptions about me. They have no idea
who I am but they assume I am up to no good because I happen to be a certain skin
tone and age. To those of you who are not black males, this is frustrating to
no end. Because when these situations happen, there is this feeling that we
need to be careful with our words and actions to prevent the situation from
escalating. When someone views one of us as a threat, every single thing we say
or do either acts to reinforce or dissuade that false belief. But at the same
time there is this anger that rises up inside, because in that moment our
entire existence has been simplified to the color of our skin and the false
stereotypes that go along with it. And from this altercation, these instances come
with some very high stakes….what we say or do can be the difference between
life and death. Yes we don’t know what exactly what happened that night and we
don’t know whether Martin’s aggression was provoked or unprovoked but all I
know is that one Zimmerman initiated the conflict with a prejudiced mind and
Trayvon Martin ended up dead that night by Zimmerman’s hand. So as a black man
growing up in America, what I am supposed to take away from this? Don’t stand
up for myself. Avoid putting myself in situations where I may be seen as
suspicious. If someone questions me, I should tell them my whole life story so
I’m not seen as suspicious. Because from this trial, it seems like that is what
I need to do to ensure I live a long life as a “dangerous black male” in
America. All I can say is that things are not as they should be and God
willing, this trial provides an impetus for discussions on racial profiling and
the negative impacts it has on the lives of people like me.
On The Christian Response
So being the
person that I am, I have wondered what the appropriate response is as a
follower of Christ. The first thing to realize is that God loves each and every
one of us here on earth. From me, to my mother, to Trayvon Martin, to George
Zimmerman, to George Zimmerman’s lawyer. God knows the truth, He knows exactly
what happened on that night and He knows if Zimmerman is truly guilty or not.
But God is especially fond of each and every one of us, and we are all loved
children of God, no matter what he have done or will do. Jesus died for George
Zimmerman’s sin as much as he died for my own sins. So as Christians, we are
called to forgive Zimmerman, we are called to forgive his defense team, we are
called to forgive the system, and we are called to forgive any other people who
we feel have wronged us in this trial or other situations like this one. And to
be honest, when I first heard of the “Not Guilty verdict” and the thought
Zimmerman walking free, forgiveness was the last thing on my mind. Even if he
was found not guilty, in my mind he deserved a manslaughter verdict at the
least and even though it is not a crime, he was guilty of racial profiling. But
a part of me knew that as a person in a relationship with Christ, forgiveness
and the thought of forgiveness was what I needed to do and talk about in my
discussions with people. I read this book earlier this summer, The Shack by William P. Young and it is
an amazing book that I highly recommend to all who want to enter a true
relationship with God and think about what that means. But in this book, the
topic of forgiveness is discussed and two things have stuck with me. 1) To
forgive someone is for you to release that person to God and allow God to
redeem him. This stuck with me because when we are wronged we always want to
get back at a person. And even when we can quench our desire for revenge, we
want leave our enemies to God’s judgment and we want God to punish them for us.
But on the cross, Jesus himself says “Father, forgive them, for they know not
what they do.” (Luke 23:34) True forgiveness is not to leave someone to God’s
for His wrath, but instead to leave someone to God for His salvation and that
is a hard thing to do. The second thing that stuck with me from The Shack is that “Forgiveness is not
about forgetting…It is about letting go of another person’s throat. (272).” We
don’t need to forget someone’s sins in order to forgive them and even the Lord
himself has not forgotten our sins. He is an all-knowing God and if He forgets
our sins, then He is limiting himself. But through His gift of forgiveness on
the cross, our sins no longer impact our relationship with him if we accept His
salvation. And we shouldn’t forget, to forget would be even more of a tragedy
because if we forget, we submit to the system and leave open avenues for more tragedies
like this to occur. As Christians, we are to show the love of Christ to the
world and this love is one that loved the world so much that He came to earth
himself to change it for the better. Because the opposite of love is not hate,
the opposite of love is indifference.
So when
I think about this in relation to George Zimmerman, I am faced with two harsh
realities. One I have to be willing to let God redeem Him and not hope for some
divine punishment in his life and that I have to metaphorically let go of his
throat in order to do so. Because this case is so personal for me, I find it
hard to do such a thing but I am going to continually try to do so anyways. It
is going to take the Holy Spirit living in me to be able to get through this
night, this system, and this world we live in and be able to respond the way
Jesus did, but the great thing about God is that he always provides the
strength for us to move on when we can’t do so by our own power. In the words
of one of my favorite Christian rappers, Andy Mineo, “And I ain’t even got it
inside of me to give forgiveness, I got to find it at the place where He said
‘It’s finished.’”
-Clark Kent
